


[Lyricstuck script] The Oldest Established

by MafagafoGirl



Series: [Lyricstuck Scripts] [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: and the felt are all gay for him, droog is a queen, it doesnt make sense in context i know, let me live, this is a funny song ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MafagafoGirl/pseuds/MafagafoGirl
Summary: Second installment of my Lyricstuck scripts. This one is The Oldest Established, from the musical Guys and Dolls.I can't draw good so I write the lyricstuck instead. Link to the song to accompany the reading is in the author's notes.
Series: [Lyricstuck Scripts] [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616692
Kudos: 2





	[Lyricstuck script] The Oldest Established

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Oldest Established](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/554935) by Frank Loesser. 



> Link to the song: https://youtu.be/qsMWH0nKS3I  
> Description happens before the lyrics.
> 
> Drop me a comment if you like it, and suggest more songs for me to do!

[Deuce, Slick and Boxcars are standing in a semi-circle at a quiet street, looking disappointed. Deuce speaks first, gesturing with a shrug and a puzzled expression] 

**The Biltmore garage wants a grand**

[Slick shrugs too, looking down at Deuce]

**But we ain't got a grand on hand**

[Boxcars speaks now, and the other two look at him; he points back with a thumb when he mentions the school]

 **And they now got a lock on the door** **  
****Of the gym at P.S. 84**

[Deuce points up, as if having an idea]

**There's the stock room behind McCloskey's bar**

[Slick winces and sways side to side, as if he’s experienced with what he says, and so are the rest of the crew] 

**But Mrs. McCloskey ain't a good scout**

[Boxcars speaks with a palm up]

**And things being how they are**

[he makes a horizontal cutting motion with his palm]

**The back of the police station is out**

[Deuce talks]

**So the Biltmore garage is the spot**

[The three say it in unison, with pained expressions; Deuce has his hands halfway up in a shrug, Slick is curved down with his hands in his pockets, and Boxcars arches back, swaying towards Slick a little bit]

**But the one thousand bucks we ain't got**

[The camera pans to the right, and the Felt erupts from seemingly nowhere to sing in unison, as Droog walks in from the far right, with a placid, neutral smile and a coat with fur on the sleeves and neck; they gesture at him broadly and amicably]

 **Why it's good old reliable Nathan!  
** **Nathan, Nathan, Nathan Detroit!**

[Itchy scutters to meet Droog and offers him a cigarette, while Quarters helps him out of his coat. Droog accepts the cigarette, and Matchsticks lits up a match with his thumb next to him, and the carapace leans in to light the cigarette up]

**If you're looking for action, he'll furnish the spot**

[Camera closes in to Droog, being approached by Sleuth holding his badge up. Droog gives him a few dollars - a bribe - and a set of dice. He smiles, accepts it, and walks away; Droog places a hand on his back as he leaves, almost as if giving his blessing]

**Even when the heat is on, it's never too hot**

[The Felt come back to the three crewmembers, who eye the scene with curiosity, and point at Droog and emphasizing their speech with theatrical gestures]

 **Not for good old reliable Nathan!  
** **Oh, it's always just a short walk**

[The Felt sing with hands behind each other’s backs, and one hand out, first raising it]

**To the oldest established, permanent floating**

[and then theatrically waving it once]

**Crap game in New York**

[They scatter around to play craps and billiards, singing while they prepare their games]

 **There are well-heeled shooters everywhere, everywhere  
** **There are well-heeled shooters everywhere  
** **And an awful lot of lettuce  
** **For the fella who can get us there**

[The three crewmembers talk in unison, looking at each other. The Felt in the background seem to be upset by their apparent disregard for what they’re saying]

 **If we only had a lousy little grand  
** **We could be a millionaire!**

[The Felt walk closer, really getting up close and personal with the crew. Deuce seems surprised and Boxcars is diverted, but Slick hates it. The Felt basically repeat their routine of pointing and fawning over Droog]

 **That's good old reliable Nathan!  
** **Nathan, Nathan, Nathan Detroit!**

[The camera cuts to Droog next to a desk with a bill counter on it; Doze is in front of him with a gentle smile and hands him a few bills to count, then takes his hat in his hands]

**If the size of your bundle you want to increase**

[After the counter is done, Droog pockets them on his suit’s internal breast pocket, and shakes Doze’s hand, who beams even more, and then walks off. All the time, Droog has the same placid smile as he showed up with]

**He'll arrange that you go broke in quiet and peace**

[The Felt continue to sing to the Crew, but the camera pans to the back; a police car rolls in, and Authority Regulator steps out]

**In a hideout provided by Nathan**

[Zooms in AR; he squints at the band of mobsters, but starts to turn around to leave]

**Where there are no neighbors to squawk**

[The Felt glance around, noticing AR was there, while they surround the Crew with their cheery singing]

**It's the oldest established permanent floating**

[The leprechauns get very close, cheek to cheek with the carapaces, as they whisper their line so the police don’t hear them]

**(crap game)**

[They step back, unfolding their arms out theatrically again]

**in New York**

[They all take big steps to the sides, with a hand shadowing their brows, inquisitively]

**Where's the action? Where's the game?**

[The three carapaces shrug to themselves, as the leprechauns around them step back]

 **Gotta have the game  
** **Of we'll die from shame**

[The green coats slowly part in two and look away, bowing down in a reverence, while they sing; Droog is standing at the back, one hand behind his back, the other holding his cigarette, imponent, and then starts walking towards the crew, who stare at him from the front of the parted sea. The last note of “York” ends with Droog right in front of them, looking them up and down, ready to start a beautiful partnership.]

 **It's the oldest established, permanent floating  
** **Crap game in New York!**


End file.
